Crazy Rig Conversations: Part 3

haters-gonna-hate So, life on the rigs never stops with the amusement! This series, 'Crazy Rig Conversations', chronicles a few of the G to PG rated things that get said on a rig in an everyday context that make me internally chuckle in disbelief and misguided mirth. Enjoy...

NB: Generally, each person is referred to as ‘old mate’, or OM for short.  ’Old Mate’ is Australian for ‘that random dude’, or someone whose name you have forgotten.


OM: Oh it's good you're back on shift. The other guy was too hard to understand, I could never get what he was sayin' over the radio.

Me: Oh, was he talking too fast? Sometimes he talks too fast...

OM: Oh nah, he just talks too Asian. It's like COPYYY, and he's like *puts on an unidentifiable ethnic accent* "wha?! wha?!*


During a long winded, mostly joking argument with a roughneck about women are in general, he comes back with this:

OM1: Listen Yassmin, men were created first. Women? They were an afterthought, and only made for company.

In hindsight, I should have said something like "Oh yea? We were just version 2.0, the latest edition...but at the time I was too busy scoffing.


I asked someone how they got to their position, as I usually do. Had they been on the rigs for long, etc.

OM2: Oh yeah, I've been around for a while. But you know, I just kinda slept my way to the top. Even from school, that's how I got my grades you know, and I mean I was Captain of the Rugby team and ripped and all that, so it was no wonder with all those young teachers and that... yeah.  Just kept doing it, and it worked for me ya know?

Well, that was one bit of career advice I was not going to take...


OM3 is the Aussiest bloke around.  He starts off this conversation very clearly telling me about how he doesn't really subscribe to any type of religion.  I braced myself, and got my comedy-wit boots on!

OM3: So, like, do you hang around only African people living in, like, your own world that has nothing to do with the rest of society?

Me: No, well that's not how I see it, and most of my friends are from everywhere because I went to a Christian [ecumenical] high school...

OM3: Oh okay, so you don't get together and do like, bomb throwing practice or anything?

Me: Oh... nah not really...

OM3 starts laughing.

Me: ...but of course, if that was something you were interested in.. ;) [I start laughing, he sort of stops.]

[and now I am worried I have jokingly written this on the internet, I am so going to be tracked by some sort of law enforcement]

At the end of the conversation, which was surprisingly quite detailed and extensive about what we Muslims do, where I pray and what I eat etc, OM3 starts to leave.  He stands at the door and turns around, cheekily.

OM3: Now I'm gonna tell all my mates I spent time hanging round a Mozzie! Doing crazy practice throws!


If you haven't seen it yet, check out my interview on the ABC with The World - it was quite exciting and an honour to be on the show!