Crazy Rig Conversations! Part 4


So, life on the rigs never stops with the amusement! This series, ‘Crazy Rig Conversations’, chronicles a few of the G to PG rated things that get said on a rig in an everyday context that make me internally chuckle in disbelief and misguided mirth. Enjoy…

NB: Generally, each person is referred to as ‘old mate’, or OM for short.  ’Old Mate’ is Australian for ‘that random dude’, or someone whose name you have forgotten.


I like to have music playing in the shack.  On this particular day, I was playing a few selected Regina Spektor tunes on my boom box.  

OM: Who is that waving tart?

Me: Oh it's Regina!

OM: Nuetroegona?! Isn't that something you put on your face?!


It's always great when the guys come and chat, but their stories more often than not revolve around their slightly crazy lives and counterparts.  This particular conversation was about an irate conversation the couple had over the phone:

OM: My wife? Oh man, she can give it. She was like a mini Saddam-Hussein on the phone today! I hope no one gives her a small country. She'd be a pretty good dictator.


Some of the rigs have portaloos instead of actual toilets.  Those things aren't much fun to begin with, but particularly not after you've heard something like this...

OM1: Oh mate, portaloos are great.  Did we tell you about the time we had old mate in the portaloos? We saw him walking across and heading in so we got the loader and picked it up while he was in there! You should have heard him yelling!!

I became very weary of going to the portaloos after that.  It reminds me of a scene in North Country to be honest! 


A friend of mine who also works on site mentioned this particular gem. 

OM: As long as you're not one of them 'do gooders' who wants to change the world - or let all the refugees in even though half of them are terrorists!


To wrap it up, here are a few gems used by the older men when they're shocked or surprised.

"Well, Pickle my Ring!"

"Well it's better than a poke in the eye with a forky stick!"


What are the outrageous and sometimes just hilarious things the people at your work say?