Me: Oh mate, I got woken up this morning by a cow! It was right next to my window like MOOOO!
OM: Oh you shoulda just opened the door and been like 'Oh mate, I don't do cattle'.
OM2: Yeh but then he woulda been like 'Oh but I'm built like a horse!'
OM: ...and hung like a donkey!
I learnt a new phrase the other day...(apologies for possible offense!)
OM: Oh yeah we're doing a job up there for so-and-so
Me: oh yeah what kind of operation is it?
OM: Oh it's a bit of a n***a show.
I shook my head and made sure I heard correctly.
ME: A WHAT??
OM: You've never heard of the phrase n***a-rigging? It's when it’s real rough-like and you make do with what you've got. N***a rigging man! It's a worldwide thing!
I looked around. All the other guys seems unperturbed.
OM2: It’s true aye.
I was chatting to a colleague about things we did as kids...
OM: Oh I once branded my mum with a hot poker on her bottom!
I burst out laughing
OM: Yeah! We were on the farm and they'd been branding the cattle all day so I though that's what I should do too! I put the poker in the fire and then just poked her on the bottom.
She swears she's got the scar till this day...
She won't show us though!
I was chatting to a colleague from the United States' deep south.
OM: I guess I was lucky because I grew up not seeing colour... I mean, we've done that - everyone drinking from their own fountain and you can sit on the back of the bus...
Me: So when did segregation stop?
The Old Mate smiled.
OM: When did it stop? We're still waiting for that to happen...