We were having a conversation about various types of dancing. I was horrified (actually, slightly mollified) to find that most of the fellas had absolutely no idea what twerking was.
OM: What is it aye? Twerking, never heard of it!?
OM2: Mate when I first heard the word I thought it was that game you play on ice where you throw that thing… (he was referring to curling). It’s pretty much just hip thrusting man!
OM3: It’s Miley Cyrus aye
Me: OMG MILEY CAN’T EVEN TWERK SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING THERE
They didn’t really understand why I was so upset about that. Actually…I don’t think I understand either…damn you Miley!
OM: Melbourne hay? I see the place as 5 million latte, Frappuccino sipping yuppies really. That’s all.
The nicknames that you hear out on these rigs are pretty great. Sometimes they are just a shortening of the person’s names with a few ‘z’s’ added in for good measure, so Gary becomes Gazza, Barry is Bazza, Yassmin is Yazza, and so on. Other times though, they are a little more inventive.
“We had this one HSE guy and he was really irritable...so we called him thrush.”
“There was this one electrician right, and whenever there was a problem he'd say “oh yeah I'll look into it for ya...”
So we called him mirrors. The guy was always looking into things!”
“There was another electrician who was always asking for something from ya. Like if you were using something he'd be like “can I use it after ya?”
So we called him Underpants ‘cos he was always on the bum!”
The fellas were having a conversation about Fiji and mentioned Kava, a drink that is native to the area. Unfortunately it didn’t seem like the fellas were impressed.
OM: They’re addicted to that Kava stuff man. I don’t know what that’s about, why can’t they have a normal addiction, like to crack?!
OM: You're a Muslim or a Christian?
OM: Okay so I have a question for you? Why don't I ever see any of the bloody people laugh??! I swear they are always so serious, with this serious face. Don't any of them ever laugh or even smile?!
OM: If I had to live like that seriously all the time, I think I would just die.
I responded, quite appropriately I think, with one of my characteristic guffaws. Touche, one might think...