The Word on the Street

It seems all my recent posts are published at 4am, with very little proofreading and more of an emotional outpouring in response to the situations I find myself in. Maybe I should invest in a diary instead... ***

So, you might find my tone in this post a little different. I have decided to jump feet first into the fray, helping out where I can and doing what I think is right. Taking the moral road, if you will.

You know what I've learnt? It is actually scary as hell.

I don't know if I am supposed to say that. I really don't. Perhaps I should be strong and courageous in the face of adversity and not be admit apprehension...but experiencing things first hand is different indeed to hearing stories.  It makes you truly appreciate what *ahem* actual freedom fighters go through.  It makes you ask the question, is it really worth it?

I think it is. I really do. The sad thing is though, I am not sure everyone else shares that opinion, and that is what truly scares me. For if your everyday Sudanese doesn't care for their country... why will anything change?

***

I like to make a habit of talking to the raksha (tuk-tuk) drivers and the shop keepers and what not to get a feeling for what the average citizen is feeling.

Let me tell you this: the average citizen is weary.

Khalas, they tell me: enough.

'Life is hard, tough, ridiculous... how can we keep living? Where is this country going??' They ask me.

I don't have an answer, because I wonder the same thing.

'Why don't you try to change things?' I ask them.

"Why should we?" 

***

Why should we?

This is the question that makes Sudan different from the case of say, Egypt.

People are not overwhelmingly proud to be Sudanese!  They don't want to do things for their country.

Oh, they will be proud of their tribe, that is for sure. They will tell you yes! I am Shaygi, Ma7as, Ja3fari... and they will defend their tribal name to the death! But defend their country? No...

I was given the example once that if you walked into a restaurant and started loudly bad mouthing Sudan, you wouldn't elicit a response. If you walked in and slandered a tribe though, oh, lord forbid! You would have to be brought out in a stretcher.

To be honest, as someone brought up in Australia I had never considered the tribal aspect of being Sudanese until I returned and Sudanese people would ask me: "So, where are you from?"

"..uh..Sudan?"

"No, who are your people??"

"...uh...My people?..."

*cue awkward conversation endings that included answers like: uh..engineers? ..lovers of rnb?*

Odd, I thought. (They all thought I was odd too, trust me).

Why is it, that people have such strong tribal affiliations but no connection to their national identity?

Perhaps it is because, as my cousin so aptly put it, Sudan has given them nothing.

Sudan, as a nation, doesn't support its citizens.

There is poor education,

A health system that kills more than it cures,

An economy that is strangling its people,

...and even if you make it through all that, there is no opportunity for progress.

Everywhere you turn, people tell me, things are made difficult for you. My own experience backs this up completely: to register at a university or even change a tire takes an entire day, because you have to chase every.single.thing.up.yourself.

I have been told by numerous Sudanese people not to bother trying to change anything. Just get out! 

Why?

Because apparently, Sudan isn't worth the hassle.

It isn't worth getting caught or arrested for, it isn't worth being afraid or losing opportunity for... Sudan, they tell me, is getting worse and there is no uphill from here.

***

I disagree.

***

I don't think it is going to be easy.

I don't think it is one person's fight -- or even just one generation's fight.

I don't think it will happen quickly, or painlessly.

But you know what? I think it has to happen.

I think the people have to believe that Sudan is worth fighting for. Because it is!

It is the land of the Nile, a land of culture, family, food, hospitality and tradition. 

A land with promise!

A land that needs its people to believe in it. 

Oh yes, the idealism of the youth, my older, more jaded family members tell me.

You will learn that this system strangles the hope from you they say.

Well, let it try.

***

I have learnt a lot over the past few days...

Learnt how difficult it is to control something like a "movement"; sometimes you just have to go with the flow,

How to speak as a "we" rather than an "I",

What people will give up for the cause,

What lengths people will go to in protection of the status quo...

To think, I only came to the country to learn Arabic!

Do we have a role to play?

It is not an unfamiliar story; born in a developing country and having the fortune of being brought up in a country with opportunities. It is not an unfamiliar story at all, but somehow I find myself in unfamiliar territory.

Perhaps this is an issue that is best suited for quite discussion around a coffee table with trusted confidantes, perhaps it isn't a lament suitable for the public arena.  If it is an issue that is affecting *me* so profoundly though, who is to say there aren't others with a similar dilemma that I can learn from?

I am an Australian, through and through and proud of that fact.  I travel with the Aussie passport, I have an Aussie accent, when I am asked where I am from (in my brown skinned & hijabed attire), I say that I am an Australian.

The fact that I was born in Sudan was always just a part of my background story, something that added flavour to my introduction.  Yes, it meant I ate different foods at home and I had a slightly "exotic" home culture and cultural expectations, but it was never really something that affected how I saw myself interacting with the world.  I was Australian with mixed Sudanese heritage, I would say.

Spending some time in Sudan though, has brought up questions that I never thought I would ask myself.  

The country is in an extremely difficult position, for a number of reasons (that requires its own analysis, perhaps when I am at a different address).  As someone who has always been passionate about social change, human rights and the like, it is no longer something I can ignore, no longer something that is just a part of where I come from.  I used to visit quite frequently with my parents as a child and the trips would be all *visits, nostalgia, happiness, excitement, family*. As you get older though, you begin to see the cracks...especially when the cracks are widening.

So it became a question of wanting to do something.

Something, anything.

From the socio-economic perspective, I could see where work could be done.  Working with the grassroots community, helping with education, food, orphans, teaching....achievable in discrete amounts, bit by bit...

Then cames the realisation that this may not be enough.  No amount of aid or number of mobile libraries is going to fill a gap that the government should be filling. So I cast the net wider...

...and realise that there is, maybe, a hope for change.  All the neighbouring countries rose up right? Why can't Sudan be the same?  That is the question I hear asked... by the young, the bloodthirsty, the hungry and desperate.

The more seasoned critics reason with experience:

We've been here before and worse, they say...

What is the alternative? they ask...

Better the devil you know then the devil you don't, they counter...

This one is satisfied. He's "shab3an" (ate until he was full). If anyone new comes, they will come hungry and do it all again....

So one sees all this and thinks well maybe, maybe there is a way I can play a part in this. The critics are right, there needs to be an alternative? Does an alternative exist? Do those who are rising up and protesting have a plan? Perhaps I can offer some semblance of support or control or aid...

I ask these questions because of desperation to help, somehow.

I think maybe I can play a part, somehow -- 

Then comes the questions -- the questions on the back burner, the questions that people ask:

Well who are you to get involved?

Do you even really consider yourself Sudanese?

Who do you think you are?

Why should we listen to you?

Do you know what we have been living through?

Are you just bringing in their ideas??

Can you even speak the language properly?

...and I begin to doubt.

But in such a situation, there is no room for doubt.

All that is left is the question:

Does the fact that I grew up in another country, and consider myself an Australian, exclude me from fighting the fight in the country of my birth? What right do I have, does it make me less legitimate a voice in this battle? If I choose to join this fight as part of the Sudanese sha3b (people), does that mean I forsake my "Australian identity"? 

...or is it a case of deciding for myself what my identity is and what "fights I choose to fight?"

I think that perhaps may be my answer, but that in itself, isn't an easy thing to do...

The older I get, the less sure I am of where things stand in the world and the more I realise it is all shades of grey.  

What do you think?

الوضع الراهن في السودان - The Status Quo in Sudan (written in Arabic)

السودان بلد جميل، لكن عليه ضغط غير طبيعي. بعد انفصال الجنوب في شهر يوليو ٢.١١، اصبحت البلد في وضع وظروف صعبة جداً. ارتفاع الدولار في السوق، و توقف ضخ النفط أدى الى ارتفاع الأسعارعامة. الغلاء اصبح ليس طبيعي، مثل كيلو الأرز في اسبوع بخمسة جنيهات و بعد أسبوعين بثمانية. لكن المشكلة الخطر إن مرتب موظفين البلد ثابت، و مفترض يعيشوا بنفس الميزانية او ميزانية اقل لأن الدولار مرتفع.

ما الحل؟ الله اعلم. معظم المجتمع عائش يوم بيوم، لكسب لقمة العيش فقط.  الشجاعة لعمل ثورة او انقلاب ما موجود، والناس الموجودون في الطبق العالية يعيشون بالراحة، لا يتأثرون بالغلاء في البلد.  المعارضون الذين يريدون إسقاط النظام تم القبض عليهم من جانب الحكومة

.لكن رمضان قادم، و مستوى المعيشة ستسوء... الله اعلم

My first attempt at commentary on the situation in Sudan...in Arabic!

I would appreciate any comments or feedback :D.

Translation out soon :D.

South Sudan: Thoughts on the Secession

On the 9th of July 2011, a new country joined the ranks of statehood: South Sudan. On the 9th of July 2011, Sudan, the largest nation in Africa, was split asunder...

On the 9th of July 2011, a people had to begin to redefine their identity, a difficult process indeed.

***

For more information on the history of South Sudan and the war that led to the secession, check out these wiki links (don't hate on authenticity, I find wiki quite informative =D)

History of South Sudan - Second Sudanese Civil War (Longest civil war in Africa, started in 1983 and was essentially resolved by the secession)

I will pre-empt this article by saying that these are mostly personal lamentings and feelings on the secession rather than a political analysis and reflection of the view of the general populace's.

To be honest, when it happened I was in Australia in the midst of exams, organising a camp and generally being busy, so the enormity of the event didn't quite register. However, being in (North) Sudan has given me ample time to realise the extent of the consequences, so I thought I would try to organise my thoughts about the situation.

***

First of all, one doesn't realise until after the fact: the feeling of losing an entire chunk of your country is unlike anything I can acutely describe. Perhaps something akin to waking up one day and realising half your extended family has changed their last name.  I can't even draw a rough map of Sudan anymore as I am not sure what the border looks like.

It is reported that over 98% of voters (as it was a referendum) voted yes for the secession. However, what is often omitted is that only Southerners voted.  This is interesting in itself; the first questions I asked upon my arrival were what Northerners thought of the situation, and how the secession had effected life in the Sudan.  

Interesting, overwhelmingly, people were upset.

Upset that they hadn't been asked,

upset that their country had split into pieces,

upset that the nation no longer had petrol , upset that because Sudan no longer had petrol, the dollar had more than doubled,

upset that the crazy increase in the dollar has caused inflation to balloon out of control,

upset now that life is just so difficult to lead...

Overwhelmingly, most people that I talked to from the North didn't think the secession was a good thing for the nation.

Some expressed frustration at the administration, asking what kind of leader lets part of his country mutiny?  What leader watches over his country being split apart?

Interesting, I thought.

I could understand why. Although I haven't really lived in my country of origin for long, it had been strange to know people, one minute as your fellow country man, the next as merely your neighbour...

I considered this information, but then decided to ask another host of questions (as one does in times of curiosity and investigation...)

I asked Northerners how many South Sudanese people did they consider friends?

How many South Sudanese people did they invite to their homes?

How many South Sudanese people do they know personally??

Would they let their child marry a South Sudanese person?

Are our cultures and traditions similar?

The answers to those questions are why I think the secession was possibly for the best.

I was told the following:

Oh, I don't know any Southerners personally...

Oh, we've never had any in our house (apart from maybe a maid)...

I would never let my son or daughter marry a Southerner!

Why?

Well, their culture is so different! They have different traditions! They have different languages! As a relative duly informed me, they are very violent people so who knows what kind of spouse they could be and the things they would do...

I was shocked.

Truly, I was.

Firstly, because I couldn't believe the level of deeply entrenched racism that existed in the community towards Southerners (but that is a whole other post).  Secondly, I could see very similar parallels between the situation in Australia with the Indigenous population and Anglo Australia, where two peoples inhabit the same land but with extremely different cultures and drastically different levels of achievement.

I don't think  it is fair on Northern Sudanese to expect Southerners to live under the same administration for the sake of history or nostalgia.

What are the origins of the borderlines anyway? They are relics of colonial times, when the British (among others) came and split the continent up into countries, drawing straight lines through tribal lines and united groups that had nothing in common.  Apart from the economic benefit (for the Northerners!), what benefit is there to staying a single country?

Yes it is awful.

Yes, it hurts your heart.

At the end of the day though, don't the Southerners deserve a chance at making their own history?

It is a unique opportunity indeed, and I can see why every political powerhouse (read USA, China and Israel among others) wants to make their mark on the nation felt early.

Putting aside issues of religious differences and politics and how it effects the self esteem or agenda of (North) Sudan, I think the secession of South Sudan is perhaps a first step for the continent in rediscovering or recreating its own, post colonial identity.  There are still many battles to be fought (the border isn't even fully determined) but it is an opportunity that I hope isn't squandered.

I know that as a Northerner, my opinion, presence or aid in the area won't be welcomed.  Nonetheless, I do hope and pray with all my heart that we Horn-of-Africans can put aside the rampant personal-greed-disguised-as-nationalistic-fervour and give South Sudan the opportunity to develop as a nation.

This is history in the making. Let's not make this nation building experiment a case study in the chapter named "Never-to-be-repeated..."

***

What do you think? Do you have any thoughts on the secession or experience in the situation?

South Sudanese Blogs for some light reading:

Paanluelwell

SouthSudanInfo

Ruya: This seems quite interesting, haven't read much but will definitely follow the work of this organisation...

JohnAkec: A South Sudanese academic

SouthSudanNation: A bulletin board of sorts

What is your lollipop moment?

Check out this awesome TED talk. Interestingly, it is the exact same message that I share when I have speak to groups of students around Australia. I think it is kind of awesome - someone else, on the opposite side of the world (literally) who shares the same message, completely independently... the world is pretty awesome that way.  The message itself too, is pretty powerful.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVCBrkrFrBE

I often say to people (a little less elegantly than in the video) to not underestimate the impact they can have on the people around them.  Drew, in the video, says the same thing and links it to the concept of leadership.  He shares a story of how he was told he had affected a woman's life through a very minor action (in fact, she said he changed her life completely), but he didn't even remember that moment! 

Isn't it amazing to think that we can have the power to change the lives of the people around us by the smallest actions or words... and by doing so, in essence change their world, our world, the world?  Because, as Drew says in the video -- there is no world, just six billion understandings of it.

What is one of my lollipop moments?

I remember when I was about eleven years old, I entered my first ever public speaking competition, at around the same time I was asked to speak at my grade seven's graduation ceremony.

If memory serves me correctly, I spoke at the ceremony before the public speaking comp.  My parents recorded the speech and when we went home to watch it, we couldn't stop laughing...

Throughout the entire speech, I was reading from the paper on the lectern, which was fine. However, I was trying to add flair to the delivery, so I would change my facial expressions with the words. What I didn't realise though, was all that people could see were my eyebrows.  So for about 5 minutes of speech, all people could see and hear was an eleven year old reading from a piece of paper with eyebrows that were going crazy -- up, down, frowning, left, right, surprised...my eyebrows pretty much looked liked shrimp being fried -- jumping around all over my forehead.   I was mortified. I was never going to able to be a decent public speaker with such ridiculous eyebrows...

My mother continues to retell this story until today.

Nonetheless, with my ego firmly in check and my speech written on "the issue of obesity" (I was worried about great things as an eleven year old), I presented at the public speaking competition a little while later.

It was nerve wracking as all hell.  I spoke too fast, stumbled over words and did my best, but my best wasn't quite enough.  I didn't make it to the next round.

When I went to the judge for feedback though, she was in a rush, but said something very quick... and told me something I would never forget.

"Yassmin, you still have a way to go.  But realise, you have a voice that people want to listen to.  You can convince anyone of anything.  So use that"

...and with that, she walked away.

I took that in, and haven't forgotten her words since.

The lady probably doesn't even remember who I am.  I don't think I even remember her name to be honest.  But those words convinced me to give it another go, and alhamdulilah, now? Well, I quite enjoy public speaking and making presentations and do so on a regular basis.   The thing is, I would have probably given up if it hadn't been for a few words of a harried judge on a Thursday night in the early 2000's.

I sometimes wish I could thank her, and show her how much her words made a difference, show her that she really has changed the world in a way.  

I guess that for me, reinforces the fact that we can have a huge affect on the people around us, without even realising it - and without it being an enormous deal or action.  

So what about you, what is your lollipop moment? Have you ever had a lollipop moment happen to you, or been thanked for creating a lollipop moment for someone else?

Cultural Sh-Sh-Shock. Part II

As I mentioned yesterday, traveling brings out the differences in our social fabric, and sometimes these differences are a little more difficult to get used to.  Even though I was brought up in a Sudanese household, there are a few things that are extraordinarily different when you actually live in Sudan, as I quickly found out, and some of those differences are illustrated below... (Note: I love Sudan, I really do. I was born there and am a proud Sudanese. Some of the below have a slight ironic tone, please take it all in good humour).

1. Communal or family based living

This is a theme that underscores many of the societal differences that I have found in Sudan.  Even though I think my parents did try to engender this concept in their kids while living in Australia, it didn't quite hit home like it does now. In Australia for example, everyone looks out for themselves.  Everyone largely lives their own life, as the individual unit is seen as the most important.  The complete opposite is true here in Sudan and many other "Eastern" nations; the family unit is what matters, or at least the "community" and the concept of doing things for individual success, pleasure or improvement is largely foreign.

This manifests itself in a number of ways, such as:

2. Everybody knows (or needs to know) everything

I am used to being a relatively independent person and making independent decisions.  However, in a community and family unit based society such as Sudan, this isn't how things are done.

If I want to go anywhere or do anything, everyone in the house seems to need to know.  

In my case, it needs firstly to be cleared with the grandma of course. We then check if the place is safe, known and reputable.  An aunt, a cousin or two and another member of the family (maybe even my parents in Aus) also need to be told before I leave, just in case.  If I am late by a minute or two... the phones start ringing.

They tell me this is for my own safety, and I am sure it is, as I don't know the lay of the land.  However for someone used to just "doing things", the level of familial bureaucracy can be slightly ...odd.

It is all part of protecting my reputation of course... because:

3, Your reputation is your life!

There are two parts to this: As I was duly informed by my grandmother when I arrived, my reputation is my most important asset, and if I ever want a good husband (oh lol) and accordingly a good life, I would do everything in my power to be "bit naas", or "a respectable girl".  

This includes:

1. Only going or being seen at "appropriate" places (this includes university, my family's house... and restaurants, with family of course)

2. Not being out at night (sunset curfew, unless I am at a sanctioned event with family)

3. Being able to serve (i.e. Bring tea/drinks/appropriate food out, clean quickly and quietly etc)

4. Being "agreeable"...and so on and so forth.

You get the point.  This emphasis on my "reputation" is quite important you see, as it dictates what people "think about me" and my "marriage prospects"...

Again, for someone who is used to "just doing things because I want to", having to think about what others think of me and what my actions say not only about me, but my entire family is quite a lot to take in while planning an outing.  

The issue is also, not only doing the right thing, but always appearing to do the right thing. So if there are actions that are right but might be misconstrued (e.g. returning home at night, even with family) this is to be avoided at all costs, lest the neighbours talk!

4. No Concept of Privacy

So I have definitely had to get used to a new sense of "sharing", in two different senses.

Firstly, at the University I attend, my property seems to be everyone else's property as well! 

For example, if I leave my bag unattended (or I look away briefly), and I will return to find someone going through my bag to "borrow" a pen or rubber or drink my iced water (which you can't buy at uni....). A classmate once borrowed my phone to listen to a song, and continued to, unapologetically and without permission, browse through all my messages and photos! I was rather shocked, until I realised this is seen as normal!

I stopped her when she started critising my photos ("why are you taking photos of the street?"   "...") and she genuinely looked offended at my taking offense.  It truly seems that there is no such thing as "mine only"...

The second aspect is the concept of personal space.  Being used to (in Aus) having my desk and study space where I zone out and work, not having similar "alone time" here has been quite interesting, as people are around you all the time.  In fact, taking yourself away from the conversation or a get together is seen as odd, because people are very social and community based.  I think of myself as an extrovert, but I do need my space to think...

Maybe all that Australian space makes me spoilt :P

5. (This is a big one) The difference in expectations and opportunities for men and women.

I could write an entire post about this topic and how it has made me feel while living in Sudan.

Suffice to say, as a women who is a mechanical engineer, I am not stranger to people telling me "that's not what women do".

But truly, the limitations placed on women simply because they are women!!! in this society boils my blood.

"It is not safe for women!" They tell me.

"Respectable girls don't do that!"

"You will never get married if you don't learn how to cook!"

"What kind of girl are you if you don't roll your hair!"

"Sport isn't for women!"

"Be more sophisticated!"

....

Never have I felt more powerless or incapable purely because of my gender.

(To be continued...)

(NB: All this makes me sometimes wonder at my claimed ethnicity. I didn't realise I was such a "first worlder!")

Have you guys had any experience with culture shock, especially from a culture you thought you knew really well??

Culture Sh-Sh-Shock! Part I

Well this post has been a long time coming. Having been fortunate enough Alhamdulilah to have spent the last few months travelling, I have come to realise that although I am born in Sudan, my cultural norms and expectations and behaviours are in fact, largely Australian.  Even though my parents brought me up speaking Arabic and sticking largely to Sudanese/Arab norms, having spent some time in Sudan now, there are still a few cultural differences that have, well, shocked me (just a tad ya' know...).

It truly does reinforce the fact that visiting a country and living in a country are completely different things.

That being said though, now having traveled briefly through Asia, there are also a few things that were unexpectedly different and caught me by surprise.  I do love the realisation that others truly do things differently so here are a few things that caught my attention...In this first part of the series I will talk mostly about the more superficial cultural differences I experienced in Asia (superficial only because I was a visitor here and haven't immersed myself in the culture enough to know more), and will continue tomorrow with those I have found in Sudan.

1. Difference in concepts of "Personal Space"

While travelling in Malaysia and Singapore, and even in Sudan, I noticed that there was quite a different concept of the "personal bubble". Perhaps because in Australia I am used to such large spaces with such few people: strangers rarely come too close (unless you hop on a full bus or train) and if they bump into you, people usually apologise.  That same concept doesn't seem to exist everywhere else -- at first when someone bumped into me or stood really close and didn't apologise I felt quite affronted, until I realised that was perhaps the norm...

2. Shop keepers "waiting and watching"

This only happened in Malaysia but it become something that really did frustrate me.  I would enter a shop, greet the shop keeper and begin browsing... only to find the shop keeper standing half a meter away, looking at me expectantly.  I would smile, move away...and she would follow me! Again, this relates to the personal space thing, but I felt quite strangely uncomfortable with someone essentially watching over my shoulder.  It was a strange feeling, almost as if I was concerned about the lady judging my choices or trying to hurry me up... Either way, quite often I would either say to the person (more than once) "I'm ok, I can deal with it from here..." or "I will let you know when I am done..." and if they insisted on just standing there or following me, I thanked them and left the shop. It really did make my retail therapy a little...strange.

3. Difference in height and size in general

Now, I don't think I am an extremely tall or large person per se, I just have ahem "presence" (and as my grandmother likes to say, "large bones").  What this means though is that in places such as Singapore and Malaysia, not only does nothing fit (the largest shoe size in all the shops is two sizes smaller than mine...) but the beds in the hotels are too short!  I honestly laughed when I lay on the bed and found my feet hanging off the end...

4. Different sense of humour

I think this applies to all the places I have traveled... the dry, ironic humour that I am used to (witty repartee as I like to think, haha) doesn't seem to translate as well, either in the South East Asian nations or in Sudan.  I am usually met with confounded looks or a picture of slight offense.  My days of being the joker..well, are quite over.

Oh.  Perhaps everyone in Australia just laughed at my jokes to be polite? One will never know...

5. Food

Suffice to say, I loved it (the extra few kilos on my torso that I left Malaysia with will attest to that). However the idea of rice, noodles and curries (?) for breakfast, lunch and dinner was a little strange at first. Lucky my stomach isn't too fussy!

So these are some of the more day to day (superficial la) differences that I found interesting and unexpected.  Living in Sudan though, some of the cultural differences are a little more difficult to deal with and do hit more close to home..

The Awesomeness of the Aussie High Commission ;)

Alhamdulilah, I have arrived safely back in Sudan after a short-but-informative trip to Malaysia for the Asia Pacific Roundtable, the Australia-ASEAN Emerging Leaders Program (supported by the Aus-Malaysia Institute, ISIS Malaysia, St James Ethics Centre, Asialink, Australia-Thailand Institute (ATI) and the Australia-Indonesia Institute (AII)) and a lunch event with young Malaysian leaders and the Australian High Commission. Woah, a mouthful! Now that the official part is over...

It was a fantastic week, and as some of the previous posts can attest to, I learnt a great deal: much I am still processing.  The Emerging Leaders part of the program gave us (about 20 young people from Australia and ASEAN) an opportunity to present on and discuss issues of import to the region, including illicit migration, regional security and the effect of middle powers.  St James Ethics Center's Dr Simon Longstaff also presented an extremely moving and interesting piece on "the biggest strategic mistake leaders make..." .  I won't give it away but suffice it to say that it has a lot to do with leaders just "looking away" and how often do they do that? Thing Houla -- quite often indeed.

On the last day of my stay, I was fortunate enough Alhamdulilah to be a Guest of Honour at a lunch hosted by the Australian High Commission and an Aussie Muslim Diplomat (which I think it totally awesome).  It was an awesome opportunity to meet the staff of the High Commission and spend some time with young Malaysian leaders.  I shared a little of my life story (haha! the poor audience) and tried to listen to the stories of the people around me.

It was a great opportunity to shift some of the thinking about Australian in Malaysia.  It seems that there is a particular impression (or stereotype let's say), of what Australia as a nation is and represents, and the fact that a Hijabi-wearing-brown-skinned-young-female is up representing Australia...well that challenges a few of those assumptions.

It was also an opportunity to hear about some of the issues that face young people in Malaysia - and interesting, being young and full of ideas is one of them.  Growing up in the Sudanese culture, I think I can relate: the idea that age = wisdom, respecting and listening to your elders and "waiting until it is your turn" is strongly entrenched.  I don't think that within the Sudanese community I am even seen as an "adult" yet! (Not until I get married and have kids anyway) so for young people striving to be involved, this is quite an issue and one that is deeply entrenched in cultural expectations.

Hopefully something that will shift though, as the generational change occurs.

All in all, a fantastic affair and I hope to stay in touch with the fabulous people I met.  Inshallah something comes out of it all!  Kudos to the Aussie High Commission and all the ISIS etc people involved for a truly interesting and thought provoking week.

(Oh and the food was a-maaaaazing. Just sayin').

*Fun Fact* 

Did you know a High Commission is the equivalent of an Embassy, just in a Commonwealth country? I didn't until only recently! You learn something new every day...

Response: To Girls About Religious Men Who Fear You

I came across this interesting article the other day by a lady named Soraya Chemaly...

A Message to Girls About Religious Men Who Fear You

I think I can understand what she was trying to say.  She was trying to encourage girls to not be limited by what she terms as "men with power who fear you and want to control you".  She continues in this vein:

I know that I have equated relatively benign baseball games with deadly, honor killings but, whereas one is a type of daily, seemingly harmless micro-aggression and the other is a lethal macro-aggression they share the same roots. The basis of both, and escalating actions in between, is the same: To teach you, and all girls subject to these men and their authority, a lesson: "Know your place." I also know that there are places where girls are marginalized and hurt that are not religious. But all over the world these hypocritical, pious men, in their shamefully obvious wrongness, represent the sharp-edged tip of an iceberg, the visible surface of a deep and vast harm. They employ the full range of their earthly and divine influence to make sure, as early as possible, that you and the boys around you understand what they want your relative roles to be. Where there are patriarchal religions girls, in dramatically varying and extreme degrees, disproportionately suffer.

She continues to advise girls to reject the ideas of these men:

You, and the boys you know, understand that your bodies are different, but that you are far more alike than dissimilar. Threatened, insecure, adult men say otherwise. Don't give in. Even if you're quiet. The differences these religious authorities exaggerate are simply pillars of oppression used to teach boys and girls that women's subjugation is "natural" and "divine." Reject them and their ideas.

She them implicates the women that are often, she says, "enable" these men:

First, and perhaps the most difficult to understand as a girl, is that women who love you and care for you often enable these men. This is what people say, "It's not JUST men!" And they are right, women support them, individually and in groups, in ways that have private, public, political and societal consequences. But, make no mistake -- although women are the enforcers of rules, they have no real, systemic authority in conservative religious hierarchies, and they know this. Yes, without their support these men could not continue, but until these women are truly free -- bodily, economically, physically, politically -- and their practical and spiritual salvation is no longer mediated by these very men, they will continue to support them. Enforcing the rules is a rational choice that enables them to survive, the world over, in unjust environments. You scare them too, because you call in to question their own complicity and cause conflict within.

So... head on over to the whole article to see the rest of her points.

As I said, I can understand the sentiment. However something about the article makes me uneasy.

I think the reason for my discomfort may lie in the article's conflation of "religious men" with their "ideas", subtly suggesting to me that is it these religious ideas that are at fault.

Perhaps I am reading too much into it, perhaps my high school critical literacy classes are still affecting the way I see things.  However when I read phrases such as Reject them and their ideas... 

I don't disagree completely with Soraya.  There are men in the world, quite often men who see themselves as religious, even pious men, who hold extremely misogynistic, sexist and patriarchal views.  However, that does not mean that we should go out into the world with a "Reject them all" attitude.  For how can you hope to change minds or gain respect from anyone if you approach the world with such an aggressive approach?  Furthermore, it is unfair to conflate the actions of men with the religions or religious ideas they claim to represent.  

I grow weary of people -- both men and women -- trying to "fight the fight" on behalf of Muslim women who are "being oppressed by their religion".

Ladies and gentlemen, Islam does not oppress women.

If anyone oppresses women, it is oppressive and patriarchal cultures that exist around the world.  Unfortunately, many of these nations are largely Muslim, so people assume that the religiosity of these men makes them misogynists.  No.

In fact, Islam came and liberated women, it gave them rights that they never previously had! Check out this blog for a variety of examples -- Islam gave women the right to own land and forbid forced marriages for example, in a time when that was unimaginable.

I agree with Soraya on the gist of her argument however.  We, as women, should not allow ourselves to limited by the attitudes of the men around us.  As long as we know what we are doing is right by the value system and principles that we live by, then we should not limit ourselves based on the opinions of others.

Instead, when challenging the issues that are ever present in our society, we do so by changing our narrative.  Taking control of our own discourse.  Doing what we want to do, what we believe is right and what we can do, without "rejecting" opposing arguments, but with minimal engagement at all. 

Doing things that aren't expected, like being an engineer.

Doing things that we enjoy doing even if they are expected, like shopping.

Simply doing.

We write articles like this one, "The Women's Crusade", which highlights the fabulous work that women are doing in the face of hardship.  Articles like this highlight the difficulties women face, but goes further and shows what women are doing to change that.  (Granted it is a very US centric article, but it does the job!)

That makes me proud.

So I invite all who are frustrated by attitudes they see and experience to perhaps just do.  Trust me, living in Sudan I have experienced my fair share of such attitudes...including from those who are close to me, and I definitely can relate to the idea of "enablers".  However you know what has been most instrumental in changing their minds, "subtly rejecting their misogynistic ideas" and challenging the norms?

Just doing what I wanted to, regardless of whether it's "what women do".

Sure, I get mocked.

But then people start to wonder... perhaps it's not such a strange thing for girls to do after all.

***

I did learn how to cook though. Because of course... I want to at least be able to cook for my husband...right? Haha.

***

Reflections on the APR

So the 26th Asia Pacific Roundtable has come to an end, and so has my first foray into truly international relations at the higher levels. I have learned a great deal over the last two days; a lot that I didn't know about the region, many perspectives that I hadn't thought to consider and even more so about the efficacy, purpose and outcomes of such an event.

Having spent most of the plenary sessions listening intently, attempting to understand not only all that was said but was was being said between the lines certainly was a new (and surprisingly exhausting) experience.  I found myself asking not one or two but quite a number of questions of the various panelists; so much so that when I met new participants I no longer had to introduce myself -- I was "Yassmin, from Australia", who asked all the questions.

I was a little unsure as to whether it would be polite or appropriate to ask so many questions, however at the end of the day it was a way for me -- and I hope the rest of the participants -- to learn about a speaker's perspective on a particular nuance of an issue.  Most of my questions were quite to the point and as such weren't always answered (i.e. asking a highly ranked US Marines official if he thought the rotational deployment in Darwin was worth the ire Australia was receiving from its ASEAN neighbours for one) but asking them allowed me to:

• Learn to frame my questions in a way that I could clearly articulate to the speakers;
• Listen closely to sessions to see where I had questions or queries;
• Open up avenues of discussion that might not have previously been being explored; and
• Introduce me as an Australian participant to the attendees -- and demonstrating that the "emerging leaders" were taking notice and asking questions.

I also think that sometimes, someone needs to ask the hard (or to an outsider, obvious) questions.

Coming from my engineering background I sometimes (quite often) feel like a flying fish out of water -- i.e. I can survive, but it isn't my natural habitat.  What it does give me though, is an external viewpoint as well as an alternative approach to issues.  Furthermore the fact that I represent an NGO is always quite liberating in such forums...

I think I just need to suck it up and read more...ensuring of course, its relevance. Hehe.

***

I learnt a lot at the forum and it will take time for me to process.  Suffice to say here were some themes that struck me and others:

• The topic of the day is clearly the issue of the South China Sea and how it is to be resolved;
• Australia doesn't seem to factor in any decision making or thought process about the region;
• India seems happy to remain as a "developing country" and doesn't seem ready to step up to the plate as yet;
• ASEAN wishes as a bloc to be in the "driver's seat" and "be providers of security instead of consumers of it..." however there is a long way to go before this is even feasible perhaps?
• North Korea...well, see below;
• Myanmar has been doing fantastically but rebuilding a nation takes time and the region shouldn't expect all the changes to happen at breakneck speed;
• Back door diplomacy is really how things happen;
• The United States, regardless of rhetoric, is interested in the region and sees itself as an important player; and
• The ASEAN way is probably the method of the day.

That is an initial outpouring of thought, I will come back for further analysis later.

Poem: The Revolution

The revolution will not provide you with the manor woman of your dreams. It will bring out the unique beauty of the ones already around you.

The revolution might not always feed or house or heal you, but hunger and thirst and cold and even sickness will trouble you a lot less.

The revolution will not mean you finally get what you deserve. It will give you treasures no one could ever deserve, just as it will sometimes hurt with a pain nothing in your life has warranted.

The revolution will not be simple or clean or easy. It will help you to find meaning in difficult things, to be courageous in facing complexities and contradictions, to get your hands dirty and like it.

The revolution is not going to happen tomorrow - it’s never going to happen. It’s taking place right now. It is an alternate universe that runs parallel to this one, waiting for you to switch sides.

Source

Reflections

“I love the sweet feeling of catching the last plane to Brisbane. The people remind me of home; guttural accents and board shorts and sportsgirl and country road, a slight dishevelledness and chilled-ness that I don’t really find anywhere else… Or maybe it’s just because Brisbanites are my homiea, my people. Its strange, to realise you feel one place is home. Only travelling really has allowed me to realize what I consider home, familiar… And even tho traveling is exciting… It always feels like my life is on hiatus until I return. How will I ever make a new home? I guess when I return one day…and it’s no longer familiar…” -- Written in my travel diary, 2011.