May Musings - 26

So I spent the day in Hay-on-Wye, at #HowTheLightGetsIn, a music and philosophy festival in a tiny town on the border of England and Wales. My brain feels rather full, to be honest. I love the festival - it has a special place in my heart - but this weekend was intellectually overstimulating. I listened to a lecture on the ‘History of Consciousness’ which probably needed a degree in philosophy studies to understand, I witnessed a ‘debate’ between a number of politicians and organisers that got really nowhere helpful (an accurate reflection of the current political system) and I listened to a large group of Welshmen in uniform sing in an unexpectedly gorgeous choir…

Guess which one I’m going to write about?

The Blaenavon Male Voice Choir - this isn’t what they sang at the festival but it gives you a bit of an idea!

There was something particularly moving about seeing a group of men, old and young, singing proudly and loudly in their native Welsh. It reminded me of the fact that Wales does indeed have a separate history, culture and language to England, but sadly, I don’t know very much about it - and anecdotally, it appears that if you grow up in England, you’re not really taught that history either (happy to be corrected though?). As a migrant to London, England, it can be easy to assume that the entire UK is fairly similar culturally, but when one travels to Wales, Scotland (or ostensibly Northern Ireland, though I myself have not had the pleasure yet!) it becomes very clear that the UK is not nearly as homogeneous as an episode of Midsummer Murders would have you believe. The UK has it’s own history of colonisation that the English really don’t seem to have made even the slightest amend for. It’s fascinating.

As the Blaenavon Male Voice Choir's sonorous chords filled the tent on the final night of the festival, I reflected on what other traditions, rituals and experiences give men the space and permission to be so earnestly wholesome and wholehearted. They sung about their love of their land, family and laughter, they sung in rhyme and in opera, they sang of deep loss and joyful levity. Their emotion and vulnerability were celebrated, not mocked. It felt unique, powerful and so deeply healthy that I couldn’t help but split my face with a blinding grin. If only more men of all ages had spaces where they could be themselves so fully. If only, everytime men present themselves to their community in ways that fundamentally challenge harmful masculine traits, they are embraced and lauded, rather than told they are somehow deficient. If only the world was full of Welsh male choirs!

Until tomorrow, folks. I’m off to listen to Arglwydd!

***

PS - I also wonder - do the English have the same love of singing and music as the Welsh, Irish and Scots? If not, why?

May Musings - 09

My Best Tourist Self

Day Two in Georgia, and what a delight!

Before I begin, I want to make an amendment. I was alerted by a reader yesterday that referring to Georgia as a post-Soviet nation may be seen as disrespectful, as it more acknowledges a political experience visited on the nation rather than the true ethnicity of the people themselves. As such, I’ve learnt, the ideal way to refer to the region is the Caucasus. Interestingly, it’s where the term ‘Caucasian’ comes from - so rather than the term simply meaning ‘someone who is white’, as I’d always imagined, it means ‘someone from the Caucasus’, a specific area between the Black and Caspian Sea.

Fascinating, right? It is also a reflection of my ignorance regarding this region’s history. It’s humbling to be reminded that although one may have deep expertise or knowledge about a particular part of the world, that knowledge is hyperlocalised. In my case, I am most familiar with the North African and Middle Eastern context, as well as Australia, but I’ve studied near nought about the Soviet Union, or the history of the Slavs, Central Asia or the Caucasus.  This makes being here in Georgia particularly thrilling: learning about a totally different history feels like gaining an understanding of a completely different way of being in the world, in a way I’ve not previously understood possible. 

It has also been interesting to notice that the tensions associated with travelling as a Muslim or a black person in Europe are virtually non-existent here.  Obviously, it’s only been a few days, but the lack of hostility has been remarkable - until one remembers that their political history is markedly different. Georgia doesn’t have a history of African slavery, for example, or indentured labour from South Asia. Its tensions are related to Russia and the Soviet Union, and so it’s much less about colour and more about ethnicity, language, and ostensibly, politics.  I’m curious to talk to Muslims and people of colour who live here though, so hold that thought until I do a little more digging…

All in all though - loving Tbilisi so far, and my, the Georgians are kind. Mashallah!

***

In other news, here’s a great read on Harper’s Bazaar on men, how notions of masculinity are toxic and how women have shouldered the burden for too long.  If this is an area of interest for you generally, the article might not present new information but it does give a good overview of the changes underway (or needed!) for men to be their whole selves. It also sites a shocking recent British study which reports ‘2.5 million men admitted to having no close friends’. What a state of affairs indeed.

After several failed relationships, Scott Shepherd realized that despite  being an empathetic, self-aware guy, he was still missing a key element  to his emotional health: a few good (woke-ish) men. 

The article reminded me of the many conversations I’ve had with my self-aware, male friends who enjoy speaking about personal and vulnerable matters with me, but have said they struggle to do so with their male peers. One hopes that, inshallah, these things are changing. However, it’s also one of the few areas that I personally - as a woman - don’t think it’s my place to get directly involved in. Yes, women can uphold the patriarchy and notions of toxic masculinity in many ways, but we will not be the ones to change it. I do believe men need to be brave and take the leap themselves. Other genders can support those who are driving the change, and help provide an environment amenable to it, but ultimately, the change needs to come from within.

What do you think? Are these changes something all genders need to be involved in driving, or should it be led by men?