Crazy Rig Conversations: Part 7

One of my favourite parts about working out on the rigs is the crazy/hilarious/random/unexpected things people say.

Here are a few of the gems of conversations I have been a part of recently!

NB: In the interests of privacy and what-not, I have referred to individuals as Old Mate, or OM for short.

***

Me: Oh mate, I got woken up this morning by a cow! It was right next to my window like MOOOO!

OM: Oh you shoulda just opened the door and been like 'Oh mate, I don't do cattle'.

OM2: Yeh but then he woulda been like 'Oh but I'm built like a horse!'

OM: ...and hung like a donkey!

Laughter ensued...

***

I learnt a new phrase the other day...(apologies for possible offense!)

OM: Oh yeah we're doing a job up there for so-and-so

Me: oh yeah what kind of operation is it?

OM: Oh it's a bit of a n***a show.

I shook my head and made sure I heard correctly.

ME: A WHAT??

OM: You've never heard of the phrase n***a-rigging? It's when it’s real rough-like and you make do with what you've got. N***a rigging man! It's a worldwide thing!

I looked around. All the other guys seems unperturbed.

OM2: It’s true aye.

Me: *shock*

***

I was chatting to a colleague about things we did as kids...

OM: Oh I once branded my mum with a hot poker on her bottom!

I burst out laughing

OM: Yeah! We were on the farm and they'd been branding the cattle all day so I though that's what I should do too! I put the poker in the fire and then just poked her on the bottom.

She swears she's got the scar till this day...

She won't show us though!

***

I was chatting to a colleague from the United States' deep south.

OM: I guess I was lucky because I grew up not seeing colour... I mean, we've done that - everyone drinking from their own fountain and you can sit on the back of the bus...

Me: So when did segregation stop?

The Old Mate smiled.

OM: When did it stop?  We're still waiting for that to happen...

***

Links, Links, Links!! 5th May 2013

A stunning way to tell a story. Check out this audition on the X Factor.

What have you been up to this week? It's been a crazy one on this end...I had this interview come out on Radio National about the piece in the Griffith Review, learnt a fair bit about training someone and read many analyses about the reaction to the Boston Bombings (a few of which I have included below).  Enough about me though...here are some of the bits and bobs which caught my eye this week.

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Paul Grahams words on finding your purpose and doing what you love (via Brain Pickings).

What you should not do, I think, is worry about the opinion of anyone beyond your friends. You shouldn’t worry about prestige. Prestige is the opinion of the rest of the world.

Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you’d like to like.

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Terrorism and other religions...

[box] Contrary to what is alleged by bigots like Bill Maher, Muslims are not more violent than people of other religions. Murder rates in most of the Muslim world are very low compared to the United States.[/box]

An amazing piece on moderation versus extremism.

[box] The Quran and the Hadith very clearly and explicitly warn against extremism in matters of religion...In the Quran God says, ‘Do not commit excess in your religion.’ According to a report in the Sahih Ibn Majah, the Prophet Muhammad is said to have remarked ‘O People! Save yourselves from excess in religion, because earlier communities were destroyed […] due to excess in religion’[/box]

It is this that I wish people remembered.

This a beautiful piece written by artist James Rhodes...

[box]The government is cutting music programmes in schools and slashing Arts grants as gleefully as a morbidly American kid in Baskin Robbins. So if only to stick it to the man, isn't it worth fighting back in some small way? So write your damn book. Learn a Chopin prelude, get all Jackson Pollock with the kids, spend a few hours writing a Haiku. Do it because it counts even without the fanfare, the money, the fame and Heat photo-shoots that all our children now think they're now entitled to because Harry Styles has done it.[/box]

Very cool Facebook page, Room for Debate - it is the exact kind of space I would like to encourage and grow...They are currently talking about whether the Hijab is worth fighting for?

[box] ...aside from the racial overtones when mostly white Western women are trying to “save” mostly non-white non-Western women, Femen activists have insulted the group they claim to care about. A campaign against the hijab is an attack on Islam instead of on patriarchy itself, effectively marginalizing all those women who choose to seek their rights in an Islamic context.[/box]

An MUST read by Mohamed Ghilan on "The Irony of Muslim Terrorism". I've just discovered his blog and I am sold.

[box] The matter is not about Islam. A closer investigation of Islam through proper methods of study and proper contextualisation will reveal that it is impossible for anyone to conclude any room for justifying, let alone do it in the name of Islam, the indiscriminate killing of innocent people on the streets. What we are dealing with are the repercussions of political decisions and historical forces that gave rise to insane acts by misguided Muslims who think they are serving Islam and Muslims.[/box]

A really well presented piece by Stella Young on the Politics of Exclusion, something I know about perhaps from one angle but not from this particular angle - that of disability and the invisibility it renders...

I posted this during the week but it is worth a conversation - diversity in motorsport.  Will Buxton writes an awesome piece on this...

I have to include this amazing spoken word video. It's rather viral at the moment (includes swear words). Seriously though, watch it. A letter to JK Rowling from Cho Chang.

Here are some equally interesting critiques, all which bring up interesting points (this is just one example) and it is good to see the poet has engaged with them via her tumblr.  I think pieces like this are extremely important and a healthy part of the public sphere of debate.  Clearly, there are many critiques, but what this has achieved is highlighted a problematic discourse and created a catalyst - a conversation through which we as a society can dismantle and tackle the issue.  How can issues ever be resolved if they are not talked about? 

For a bit of fun, check out these awesome LEGO CREATIONS!

Enjoy your Sunday!

Crazy Rig Conversations: Part 2

Well, the good times never stop in the drilling world!  This last week has included travelling to three different rig sites, driving for too many hours and even a rodeo somewhere in the middle! Spending all this time in this world does expose one to interesting conversations and lines though...and I thought they might be worth sharing :)

NB: Generally, each person is referred to as 'old mate', or OM for short.  'Old Mate' is Australian for 'that random dude', or someone whose name you have forgotten.

***

Over the two way radio, two of my colleagues are catching up on the public truckers' channel:

OM 1: Where did you put the [xx piece of equipment]

OM 2: Oh I duno, do you want me to come and show you?

OM 1: Yeah, you should probably get over here.

OM 2: Do you miss me already do ya?

Random Truck Driver Sounding Annoyed: Do you guys want to get a channel?

***

The explanation of the Pope-selection system:

Old Mate: When they get together to pick the pope, they just have a bit of the smoke, and then when it's really good and they've decided, they'll have a bit of that white smoke... that's what you see.

Me: Oh, that...makes perfect sense... (!)

***

I work with an Arab looking man who was on the rig floor.  One roughneck decided to call him from my shack.

Roughneck: Rig floor, do you copy? [No reply]

He looks at me and grins.  Oh dear, I thought.

Roughneck: Rig Floor?  Durka Durka Jihad Jihad!  [Looks over and laughs. I'm confused. Does he know I am Arab too? Am I supposed to reply?]

Me: You got it wrong; I think you mean Durka Durka Mohammed Jihad...?

***

Another lady visited the site, a lovely blonde engineer.  It was hilarious watching all the guys register a woman on site. Later on, I had a conversation to one of the crew about the whole 'affair'...

OM 1: Oh did you see the chick come on site? There were eyes popping out everywhere!

Me: Ha! That's great.  Did you guys get a good look did you?

OM 1 (seemingly a little dismayed): No, I didn't get a good enough look. I will next time though...

Me: It's getting crazy now there are two of us women on site ay!

OM 1 (looks at me with a slightly worried expression): I know. It's so distracting.  All of us just go a bit silly really.  Even when you came on we went a little silly.

Me: Don't you guys get over it once you know who we are and that?

The two crew members looked at each other.

OM 1 and 2: Nope.

***

***

While at the Rodeo (this isn't a rig conversation, but it was funny...)

Announcer: Racing is not discriminiative, it's speedway.

and lastly...

OM 1: Oh I wish I didn't have a heart problem.

Me: Oh dear, that's terrible. What's up?

OM 2: Love is a real killer you know!

Me: -.-

***

Crazy Rig Conversations

How many times have you thought: I wish I was a fly on the wall on a drilling rig so I could listen to what they talk about... Oh, just me then?

Well let me fill you in on a few of the unique conversations I have on a day to day basis with the men I work with. The following conversation took place between me and an old fella (OF) I had literally just met and I think almost offended by asking how many head of cattle he had - I thought that was 'general farm talk' but apparently not, that was me asking how much money he had... Anyway, one learns.

OF: So where are you from?

Me: Brisbane...

OF looks at me suspiciously

OF: What are you born in Australia are you?

Darn, I thought. He got me on that one... When I replied in the negative, he simply nodded...

OF: Mm I thought so! (With a smirk!)

Later in the conversation, out of the blue...

OF: So I didn't see you at the local town's big dance the other weekend, you need to get to those sort of things.

Me: Oh really?

OF: Yeh, I can introduce you to some people. There's this lovely boy from the so-and-so family and they're really quite wealthy, I can introduce you. He's not a bad kid, about your age, he'll be good.

Me: (not sure if he is being serious, and thinking 'did this guy -whom I just met - seriously just offer to set me up with a random Australian country lad? Me, an obviously brown, Muslim non-Australian born chick? Wow, isn't multiculturalism awesome...) Oh how kind, thank you?

OF: Yeh no worries, next time we are in town I'll introduce you to him, you can go from there.

Who knows what will happen next time I go down town!

***

I walked into the drillers' room - or the doghouse as it is called, as was greeted with this: (D=Driller)

D: You hear that sound?

Me: Nope...what sound?

D: That ticking, it's your biological clock. You might be here now, but one day you'll just switch and you'll be wanting to iron clothes and feed babies... Trust me!

Me:...

But what if my biological clock draws me to the ninja mafia instead?

It is an interesting world, a little bubble if you will, where you meet the craziest personalities but also some of the most interesting... I love it. Stay tuned for more, and do share if you enjoyed it!