Crazy Rig Conversations: Part 2

Well, the good times never stop in the drilling world!  This last week has included travelling to three different rig sites, driving for too many hours and even a rodeo somewhere in the middle! Spending all this time in this world does expose one to interesting conversations and lines though...and I thought they might be worth sharing :)

NB: Generally, each person is referred to as 'old mate', or OM for short.  'Old Mate' is Australian for 'that random dude', or someone whose name you have forgotten.

***

Over the two way radio, two of my colleagues are catching up on the public truckers' channel:

OM 1: Where did you put the [xx piece of equipment]

OM 2: Oh I duno, do you want me to come and show you?

OM 1: Yeah, you should probably get over here.

OM 2: Do you miss me already do ya?

Random Truck Driver Sounding Annoyed: Do you guys want to get a channel?

***

The explanation of the Pope-selection system:

Old Mate: When they get together to pick the pope, they just have a bit of the smoke, and then when it's really good and they've decided, they'll have a bit of that white smoke... that's what you see.

Me: Oh, that...makes perfect sense... (!)

***

I work with an Arab looking man who was on the rig floor.  One roughneck decided to call him from my shack.

Roughneck: Rig floor, do you copy? [No reply]

He looks at me and grins.  Oh dear, I thought.

Roughneck: Rig Floor?  Durka Durka Jihad Jihad!  [Looks over and laughs. I'm confused. Does he know I am Arab too? Am I supposed to reply?]

Me: You got it wrong; I think you mean Durka Durka Mohammed Jihad...?

***

Another lady visited the site, a lovely blonde engineer.  It was hilarious watching all the guys register a woman on site. Later on, I had a conversation to one of the crew about the whole 'affair'...

OM 1: Oh did you see the chick come on site? There were eyes popping out everywhere!

Me: Ha! That's great.  Did you guys get a good look did you?

OM 1 (seemingly a little dismayed): No, I didn't get a good enough look. I will next time though...

Me: It's getting crazy now there are two of us women on site ay!

OM 1 (looks at me with a slightly worried expression): I know. It's so distracting.  All of us just go a bit silly really.  Even when you came on we went a little silly.

Me: Don't you guys get over it once you know who we are and that?

The two crew members looked at each other.

OM 1 and 2: Nope.

***

***

While at the Rodeo (this isn't a rig conversation, but it was funny...)

Announcer: Racing is not discriminiative, it's speedway.

and lastly...

OM 1: Oh I wish I didn't have a heart problem.

Me: Oh dear, that's terrible. What's up?

OM 2: Love is a real killer you know!

Me: -.-

***

Exciting News – Being Published!

  Hi all! Just wanting to share some exciting news with you all.  I have the amazing fortune to be a contributor in the Griffith Review’s awesome 40th Edition of Women and Power!  It will be available in late April.

The blurb for the edition is as such:

The empowerment of women it is one of the most remarkable revolutions of the past century. But like all good revolutions it is still not settled.

In a generation women have taken control of their economic fate, risen to the most powerful political positions in the land and climbed to the top of the corporate ladder. Just when it seemed there was general acceptance of this change, a misogynist backlash persists.

The impact of this revolution extends across the whole society – from homes to schools, politics to the military, marriage to media – challenging long held verities.

In Women & Power, Griffith REVIEW will bring an international perspective to these dilemmas, exploring the changing relationship between women and power in public and private spheres, here and abroad.

Have social changes caught up with economic changes? Are children paying a price for the rise of the two-income household? Can women have it all? Does it matter whether Julia Gillard's fruit bowl is empty or full?

Women & Power will bring provocative and insightful perspectives on these questions. The empowerment of women was one of the great changes of the past 50 years, handling its consequences remains a pressing challenge.

***

The piece is a short memoir about my life so far on the rigs… it comes out in late April! I will also be at the Sydney Writers Festival speaking on this, so quite excited indeed at the opportunities, Alhamdulilah!

The Griffith Review, edited by my amazing friend and mentor Julianne Shultz…

…celebrates good writing and promotes public debate. It steps back from the issues of the day and gives writers the space to grow on the page.

Essays reflect on the underlying significance of events and trends, explain the details that get lost in the news and examine the unintended consequences of public policy.

I am really excited about contributing to this wonderful edition, so stay tuned – and maybe even get the edition!

Crazy Rig Conversations

How many times have you thought: I wish I was a fly on the wall on a drilling rig so I could listen to what they talk about... Oh, just me then?

Well let me fill you in on a few of the unique conversations I have on a day to day basis with the men I work with. The following conversation took place between me and an old fella (OF) I had literally just met and I think almost offended by asking how many head of cattle he had - I thought that was 'general farm talk' but apparently not, that was me asking how much money he had... Anyway, one learns.

OF: So where are you from?

Me: Brisbane...

OF looks at me suspiciously

OF: What are you born in Australia are you?

Darn, I thought. He got me on that one... When I replied in the negative, he simply nodded...

OF: Mm I thought so! (With a smirk!)

Later in the conversation, out of the blue...

OF: So I didn't see you at the local town's big dance the other weekend, you need to get to those sort of things.

Me: Oh really?

OF: Yeh, I can introduce you to some people. There's this lovely boy from the so-and-so family and they're really quite wealthy, I can introduce you. He's not a bad kid, about your age, he'll be good.

Me: (not sure if he is being serious, and thinking 'did this guy -whom I just met - seriously just offer to set me up with a random Australian country lad? Me, an obviously brown, Muslim non-Australian born chick? Wow, isn't multiculturalism awesome...) Oh how kind, thank you?

OF: Yeh no worries, next time we are in town I'll introduce you to him, you can go from there.

Who knows what will happen next time I go down town!

***

I walked into the drillers' room - or the doghouse as it is called, as was greeted with this: (D=Driller)

D: You hear that sound?

Me: Nope...what sound?

D: That ticking, it's your biological clock. You might be here now, but one day you'll just switch and you'll be wanting to iron clothes and feed babies... Trust me!

Me:...

But what if my biological clock draws me to the ninja mafia instead?

It is an interesting world, a little bubble if you will, where you meet the craziest personalities but also some of the most interesting... I love it. Stay tuned for more, and do share if you enjoyed it!

Drilling in the Desert

There is nothing like the taste of a dust storm for lunch…

Adjusting to working in the desert has been an interesting experience.

The most unexpected part isn’t the heat, the dust or the lack of reception.

It’s the flies!

Swarms and swarms of flies. They get into your nose, into your ears, behind your glasses…

I decided to walk home from work after a shift one day, optimistically thinking it would be nice to get some fresh air, exercise and appreciate the landscape. I ended up spending the entire time swatting my face and being chased by a black cloud of writhing insects.

It’s an eerie landscape out here, and one that often reminds you of your own insignificance.   The unrelenting nature of the environment and the sheer scale of the expanse are truly …humbling.

We are fragile creatures.

***

Peace, Yassmin (from the rigs).

The Lady With The Crash Helmet

On a recent trip back from the States, I realised I had uncovered one of the best conversation starters on an aeroplane or in an airport. Carry a hard hat on top of your hand luggage.

Trust me, it works a treat!  Especially if you are a Muslim chick…

I didn’t quite fit the above stereotype…perhaps fortunately?

I think about 4 people asked me straight out: “So why are you carrying a crash helmet on to this plane?  What do you think is gonna happen?”.

It took all my self control not to crack an awful joke every single time; I am not sure if they would have appreciated my dark sense of humour in this particular situation.

A few others were just curious: “What’s a girl like you doing with steel caps and a hard hat?”

“Oh well, I work on the field…”

Quite a number of interesting conversations followed, and to be honest, one can sometimes forget how interesting the people on the plane can be!

I ended up meeting all sorts of people; some who work in the motorsport industry, some guy who works as a professional tree climbing equipment supplier (and got there in the most random fashion…) and another guy who used to work on oil rigs in the same area, in the 1980’s!

That was kinda a cool one.  He had a few stories, a couple of permanently crooked fingers and a life story which he prefaced with: “All we wore were steel caps and shorts…”

Ah, OH&S has moved on a bit since then.

It was a nice reminder in general though, that instead of walking around airports with headphones in my poor abused eardrums and a “don’t talk to me” look on my face as I struggle through jetlag while carrying too many pieces of hand luggage as per usual…I should take more notice of the people around me on a more regular basis.

You never know who might be sitting next to you…and the stories they might have.

***

Something occurred to me today.

Faces I sometimes forget, names I often do if I don’t write them down or spell them out.

Stories however… they sustain me.

Stories are the colour to the tapestry of life; the details are the richness of the pigment, the texture, the intricacies to something bigger than ourselves.

Stories are what make people people, and everyone has their own story that is worth listening to. 

Isn’t is a basic human desire to have our story be heard?  Perhaps not by everyone, but at least someone.  Perhaps…you.

Back in the days when men were men?

Ah, LOTR…Totally Irrelevant Photo =)

I was told by my work that I am only allowed to write about my personal life, not about work per se.  I am not totally sure what that means, but I am hoping they are just referring to “talking about the actual things we are doing” and not “talking about anything remotely to do with work/having a job/how I feel”.  It is a strange feeling, being beholden to a company or organisation which you depend on for money…I know that is really what “working” is all about, but I had never really taken it that seriously before (for all my sense of responsibility, having someone tell me what I can and can’t do has never been a strong point, just ask my parents =P).

Suffice it to say I work for a large oil services company and so my job is based on the oil and gas rigs, truly male dominated territory.

What is interesting about this though, is how different working in a male dominated field is from studying in one.  I had never even given the issue much thought at all, considering since from about grade 10 I had taken traditionally male subjects and studied mechanical engineering (with less than 10 girls in a class of a couple of hundred).  I honestly thought it wouldn’t even be an issue, I would be ‘all over it’.

Perhaps that was my naivety.

What is the difference? When studying, you grew up with your mates, saw them as colleagues, friends, community, family.  Gender seemed not to be an issue, because the guys saw you as just another student or friend.

Out here in the oil and gas fields, those rules don’t apply anymore.

I won’t say that it is an absolute either way – some people will treat women with kids gloves and try to do anything for them, while others will disregard us and think that we shouldn’t be on the rigs or simply incapable of doing the job as well as a man (not even jokingly…they actually think we can’t do a job because of our chromosomes)…but the fact is that our gender matters, and is a defining part of how we are seen and dealt with.

For someone who has spent the last seven or eight years trying to not make that an issue, that is galling indeed.

An interesting experience though nonetheless, and one that I am embracing.

…and hey, as the fellas say as they chew and spit their dip, “Welcome to the Oil Fields!”