Oil fields

Crazy Rig Conversations: Part 8

00-2 One of my favourite parts about working out on the rigs is the crazy/hilarious/random/unexpected things people say.

Here are a few of the gems of conversations I have been a part of recently!
NB: In the interests of privacy and what-not, I have referred to individuals as Old Mate, or OM for short.
***

We were having a conversation about various types of dancing. I was horrified (actually, slightly mollified) to find that most of the fellas had absolutely no idea what twerking was.

OM: What is it aye? Twerking, never heard of it!?

OM2: Mate when I first heard the word I thought it was that game you play on ice where you throw that thing… (he was referring to curling). It’s pretty much just hip thrusting man!

OM3: It’s Miley Cyrus aye

Me: OMG MILEY CAN’T EVEN TWERK SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING THERE

They didn’t really understand why I was so upset about that. Actually…I don’t think I understand either…damn you Miley!

***

OM: Melbourne hay? I see the place as 5 million latte, Frappuccino sipping yuppies really. That’s all.

***

The nicknames that you hear out on these rigs are pretty great. Sometimes they are just a shortening of the person’s names with a few ‘z’s’ added in for good measure, so Gary becomes Gazza, Barry is Bazza, Yassmin is Yazza, and so on.  Other times though, they are a little more inventive.

“We had this one HSE guy and he was really irritable...so we called him thrush.”

“There was this one electrician right, and whenever there was a problem he'd say “oh yeah I'll look into it for ya...”

So we called him mirrors. The guy was always looking into things!”

“There was another electrician who was always asking for something from ya.  Like if you were using something he'd be like “can I use it after ya?”

So we called him Underpants ‘cos he was always on the bum!”

 ***

The fellas were having a conversation about Fiji and mentioned Kava, a drink that is native to the area.  Unfortunately it didn’t seem like the fellas were impressed.

OM: They’re addicted to that Kava stuff man. I don’t know what that’s about, why can’t they have a normal addiction, like to crack?!

 ***

OM: You're a Muslim or a Christian?

Me: Muslim...

OM: Okay so I have a question for you? Why don't I ever see any of the bloody people laugh??! I swear they are always so serious, with this serious face. Don't any of them ever laugh or even smile?!

OM: If I had to live like that seriously all the time, I think I would just die.

I responded, quite appropriately I think, with one of my characteristic guffaws. Touche, one might think...

*** 

 

 

SBS Online: Ramadan on the Rig

This post appeared a little while ago on the SBS Online blog, check it out! :D

rig

I like to think of it as a detox for the soul. Ramadan is the 9th month in the Islamic lunar calendar, and to fast during Ramadan is the fourth pillar of the five pillars of Islam. It's a month that's celebrated and venerated by Muslims worldwide.

Historically, Ramadan is the month where the first verses of the Quran were revealed to the Prophet (Peace and Blessings be Upon him). It is a time of spiritual reflection for all Muslims, it's about self discipline, restraint and empathy. Fasting is merely a physical form of restraint; Muslims are also encouraged to guard their speech, actions and thoughts from engaging in 'despicable acts'.

Fasting also allows us as Muslims to understand the plights of those less fortunate than ourselves and become more appreciative of the blessings we have. It's an opportunity to focus on our actions and spirituality, almost like a 'refresh' for your beliefs.

The month brings people together, across cultural, political and ethnic divides. We are encouraged to forgive and seek forgiveness of others and in doing so build bonds that will continue when the fasting ends. Even the 'Iftar' (breaking of the fast at sunset) provides a platform for sharing and a peaceful tranquillity.

Over the 28 or 29 days, good deeds are rewarded many times over, and the gates of Paradise are open, while the gates of Hell are closed. What better time to reorganise your spiritual affairs?

SOLITARY REFLECTION

This Ramadan, I find myself out in the field, working as an oil and gas engineer in regional Australia, with no-one on the rig quite understanding the ritual. It feels strange, not having iftar with the family and heading to the mosque to pray 'Taraweeh', the additional nightly prayers that one can take part in during Ramadan.

It is however, an opportunity to be more mindful about my fast, reflect and pray, away from the distractions of everyday life.

I do small things in my own way to make the month special; buying dates to break my fast with as is tradition, playing Quraan in my room when I'm off-shift, waking up early to lay out the praying mat my mother bought me and pray before the light turns. It isn't the same of course, as being with my family and the community; the shared experience of fasting is absent and the men on the rig generally find it 'crazy'.

"Why would you do that?" they tend to ask, when I explain the reasons I am not having lunch or rehydrating. "It sounds crazy. I'd never do that. Doesn't sound very good for you either."

One or two, will ask for more details. "So what is the point of it?", after which I explain the importance of being grateful, of self-discipline. Some do understand, particularly those who have their own religious identity and it is nice to be able to share the tranquillity that fasting brings.

We are lucky in Australia though, because at the moment the days are short. I imagine it will be quite different on the rigs when Ramadan moves to the summer months.

Perhaps night shift might be the best option!

***

Triple J kindly did a story on this as well, which you can listen to here (language warning!!)

Crazy Rig Conversations: Part 7

BeautifulCaricaturemachoarts5_01One of my favourite parts about working out on the rigs is the crazy/hilarious/random/unexpected things people say.

Here are a few of the gems of conversations I have been a part of recently!
NB: In the interests of privacy and what-not, I have referred to individuals as Old Mate, or OM for short.

***

Me: Oh mate, I got woken up this morning by a cow! It was right next to my window like MOOOO!

OM: Oh you shoulda just opened the door and been like 'Oh mate, I don't do cattle'.

OM2: Yeh but then he woulda been like 'Oh but I'm built like a horse!'

OM: ...and hung like a donkey!

Laughter ensued...

***

I learnt a new phrase the other day...(apologies for possible offense!)

OM: Oh yeah we're doing a job up there for so-and-so

Me: oh yeah what kind of operation is it?

OM: Oh it's a bit of a n***a show.

I shook my head and made sure I heard correctly.

ME: A WHAT??

OM: You've never heard of the phrase n***a-rigging? It's when it’s real rough-like and you make do with what you've got. N***a rigging man! It's a worldwide thing!

I looked around. All the other guys seems unperturbed.

OM2: It’s true aye.

Me: *shock*

***

I was chatting to a colleague about things we did as kids...

OM: Oh I once branded my mum with a hot poker on her bottom!

I burst out laughing

OM: Yeah! We were on the farm and they'd been branding the cattle all day so I though that's what I should do too! I put the poker in the fire and then just poked her on the bottom.

She swears she's got the scar till this day...

She won't show us though!

***

I was chatting to a colleague from the United States' deep south.

OM: I guess I was lucky because I grew up not seeing colour... I mean, we've done that - everyone drinking from their own fountain and you can sit on the back of the bus...

Me: So when did segregation stop?

The Old Mate smiled.

OM: When did it stop?  We're still waiting for that to happen...

***

Crazy Rig Conversations: Part 6

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Listening to interesting bits of conversation and hearing witty bits of jargon are always fun. Out here on the rigs though, it isn't always witty, but it is definitely entertaining...

Here are a few of the gems of conversations I have been a part of recently!
NB: In the interests of privacy and what-not, I have referred to individuals as Old Mate, or OM for short.
***
OM: Yassmin, did you eat this tub of yoghurt?
Me: mm...yes?
OM: You should keep eating that
Me: mm...why? (Is he going to give me a spiel about the health of my digestive tract? I don't need no inner health plus!)
OM: 'Cos it's the only culture you'll get around here! Haha!
***
The following was an interesting conversation that didn't quite turn out the way I was expecting it to!  We were watching the news at dinner in the crib room (cafeteria) and something about the PNG solution came on.
Me: Oh this is ridiculous. Don't get me started...
OM: Oh, so this is something you care about hey? Don't get you started hey? Well, tell me, where do you stand on this?
Oh, blimey, here we go I thought - and I launch into a lecture on the UNHCR's process, our obligations under the refugee convention, our responsibility in the world etc etc etc.
Me: So what do you think?
OM: Me? It's pretty simple really. If you want to tell someone you can't come on a boat to this country - who the hell are you to tell someone they can't come? It's not your bloody country anyway! If you're not aboriginal (indigenous) then you came on a bloody boat yourself! We should let them all in I reckon!
Me: O_o
Don't judge books by their covers...
***
I was playing some music in my shack and Eminem came on.
OM1: Oh my god Yassmin, is that the white guy who thinks he can rap?
OM2: He even named himself after a chocolate!
Me: Haha true! But he is alright aye...
OM2: Hey, at least those chocolates have some nuts!
***

Brisbane Times: Is our Aussie Banter Bullying?

So I ask the question...do we just need to harden up ? A rework of a piece I recently wrote for the opinion pages on the Brisbane Times.  Read the comments! They are always my favourite part of the piece...

Banter

Mate, you takin' the piss?

 
It is a unique cross between the 'tall poppy syndrome' and a disdain for political correctness.


What is it?

It is the 'Australian' sense of humour and the way we constantly, unapologetically and indiscriminately make fun of anyone and everyone - particularly each other. In fact, 'make fun' of each other might be putting it lightly. Perhaps 'take down a peg' or 'bring down to size' is a better description.

Where do you find it?

Well, everywhere on this great expansive continent! Hot spots include groups of mates, families, politicians...you name it, someone's got something to say about it.

***

No doubt this is a gross generalisation on my part and I only have my personal experience to draw from, but a comment from an Irish colleague recently caused a bout of reflection.

"Jeaysus! All you Aussies just cut each other down so badly, and it's really quite merciless!" he exclaimed (in his strong Irish tones).

What we see as 'group banter' was to him, something a little different. Group banter and joking around was one thing, but here? Well apparently, we all really had to have 'quite a thick skin'!

Now, this may perhaps be a reflection of the places where I have worked and studied - engineering, motor racing and the oil and gas rigs aren't the most forgiving environments by any stretch. So perhaps this a biased reflection.

The broader question that it brings up however, is worth paying attention to. Where is the line between 'team banter' or 'taking the piss', and true bullying and harrassment?

This is clearly a sensitive question to your 'average aussie bloke' (whatever an 'average aussie' is). Even broach the topic and the conversation generally turns to:

"Mate, do you live near a Bunnings?" Errr...yes? "Well go there, buy a bag of cement and harden up!".

There is a sense out here that if you should be handle and brush off whatever comes your way, and be able to dish out just as much. There is also a strong pushback against people being 'way too politically correct' and having people control what can and can't be said.

"Mate, I've had enough of this political correctness rubbish. It's gone way too far. We can't say anything!" is a common sentiment expressed, particularly amongst the older folk.

***

There are two issues at play.

One is the general Australian disregard for authority and heirachy. Anyone who thinks they know more or who has an answer for everything is cut down, or straight out ostracised. This is manifest especially among groups of friends, where the playful banter is often at the expense of someone else. By and large, this seems to be the expected and accepted way of life - whether it is politically correct or not. In fact, if anything is said, it is usually put down to an individual being too sensitive.

Whether or not that needs to change, or whether changing that would be unAustralian is food for thought.

The second issue is the line between banter and bullying. Particularly in male dominated environments, the banter is seen as a part of asserting ones masculinity and to earn kudos (?) with the group. I see it happen often in front of me and find myself often thinking - at what point is this no longer funny?

It is no longer funny when the person can't handle it, when it defeats them personally, reduces them and their self esteem and when you feel it isn't right. Banter is one thing, but to have fun at the expense of others - no matter how funny you may find it - is still bullying.

 

Crazy Rig Conversations: Part 5!

tumblr_lwd9br8wec1r19kzbo1_500_large Working on the rigs, one hears - and partakes in - crazy, strange random conversations that usually make me laugh. Here are a few of the recent gems!  Apologies for any offense caused...

NB: Generally, each person is referred to as ‘old mate’, or OM for short.  ’Old Mate’ is Australian for ‘that random dude’, or someone whose name you have forgotten.

***

OM1: You know, I get that women want equality right. But you have to play by the rules of the game and not complain about things? It's like, when a guy who is disabled competes in the normal Olympics and then complains that the result isn't fair - well mate, we made you your own Olypmics, if you want to come and compete with us you have to be on the same level...

Me: Hmm well I can't say I have ever thought of it that way hay.

OM1: Oh well I'm not saying that being a woman is like being disabled...haha!

***

I had a surprisingly educated conversation with a driller about religion. He managed to explain the concept of "Jihad" to a fellow colleague in quite a precise manner.  

OM1: Mate, I read about this Jihad thing aye. It's not like going to war, it's like struggling for something FOR God. Like, say, you want to quit smoking for God, that's your Jihad. It's your struggle.

Me: Wow, that's actually a pretty good explanation!

It has actually changed the way my colleague sees Islam now. #win!

***

A new leasehand (the lowest position on the rig crew) had just joined the crew.  I was asking about his experience.

Me: Oh so it's his first day on the crew?

OM1: Yah, he's from the army. It's his first day on a rig ever!

Me: Oh wow, that's so cute! (as you do...)

OM1: No Yassmin. Puppies are cute. Kittens are cute. We are hard, tough, strong. We are MEN. We are not cute.

Me: ...

***

WOW Bites: Survival Guide for Chicks on Rigs.

Earlier this month I had the honour of presenting at the World of Women (WOW) part of the Sydney Writers Festival. It was quite an inspiring session, with speakers who included the likes of novelist Melissa Luckashenko to a young Iraqi lady who had traveled to Australia seeking asylum.

Find out more about WOW at Sydney here.

The majority of the 'Bites' - strictly ten minutes bites of inspiration and the like - were quite deep and moving. Lucashenko's and Kristi Mansfield's were both quite brutal to be honest, forcing the audience to confront issues of rape and violence occuring on a daily basis to young women in our own cities.

I took a different tack and went for a slightly more light hearted and humourous angle. My piece was a 'Survival Guide for Chicks on Rigs...' (because you know, there are just so many of us!). I started off with a bit of a poem...and I would like to share a little bit of the presentation with you!

 

Aren't you frightened, they will ask,

Of the men, the remoteness, the difficulty of the task?

Why on earth do you want to do that, they will question

Where as if you were a guy, that wouldn't rate a mention.

The fact of the day is, ladies and gentlemen,

That this guide is not about survival.

We will survive - Gloria Gaynor said so.

It is about thriving and owning our power from the get go.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.

Working on the oil and gas rigs, particularly as a woman, is an adventure and a half indeed.

As I am an engineer and love lists and numbers, I've put together a numbered list of suggestions, and I hope you enjoy!

 

Number 1.

Determine where YOUR line is, how thick YOUR skin is, how much you are willing to let slide. Factor in the 'drilling rig bonus'.

Often when a woman begins working on a rig, the men won't talk to her for some time at all. Don't take it personally, but they are slightly scared themselves (though they will never admit it!). They won't know how to react to you, what they can say around you, how thick YOUR skin is...they know something will be different now that you are here but they don't know HOW that difference will play out.

Let them take the cues from you. You have power here - a power we as women never used to have, and that is the opportunity to set the tone of the conversation.

What is the drilling rig bonus? An amorphous measure that accepts that normal society is quite different to the microcosm that is the drilling rig and so your line might be different in this situation, or might need to be slightly different. Adjust accordingly.


Number 2.

Make the most of being underestimated.

Some of the rig workers may hold the unspoken belief that a woman is less competent or deserving of a role. We all know that is not the case, but use that underestimation to your benefit! Surprise them at being AWESOME at your job and letting your actions speak for themselves. Being really good at your job is a language they understand and WILL respect, particularly out there.

 

Number 3.

Have a sense of humour

Nothing breaks down barriers like a bit of laughter. Being witty, sharp, or deploying quick, timely ripsotes are always appreciated (but careful not to descend into bullying).

If you aren't a regular standup comedian, try to see the humour in the everyday interactions - because there is plenty. Personally, I am terrible at being witty but I find most everything hilarious. Nothing warms a hardened man's heart more than having a laugh at a joke he cracked

Number 4.

Learn the language.

There is nothing more effective than good communication. For the sake of mirth though, here are some of the phrases I have picked up (the ones used in polite company anyway!).

I'm drier than a dead dingo's donga.

You wana run with the big dogs you gotta pee in the long grass.

They thought I did what?! That's lower than the basic wage.

I'm like a mushroom. I get fed rubbish, everything just slides off me and I only come out in the dark.

 

Number 5.

Be Flexible, within limits. Don't forget your rights.

The guys working in the field will appreciate flexibility, humour and cues taken from you, as illustrated previously. A level of flexibility is required, as fighting every single battle is not only ineffective, it is exhausting.

However, you must also be cognizant of your rights as a woman and individual and if things DO go too far and they DO overstep the line, stop them. Use the tools necessary if required.

You might think it is a career limiter but rest assured, it is a career killer for the other individual. The law is on your side. If you are in a situation like this - talk to someone you trust, and then make a decision and don't ever feel guilty for the actions of others.


Number 6.

Always pack more sanitary items than you might think you need. You won't be able to buy any if you're stuck out in the middle of the desert or the ocean.

There's always one really practical survival tip in every guide. This is one of those. Trust me. Oh and a word of warning, the guys LOVE blaming any mood swings on our hormones. It's great.


Number 7.

Be your version of strong.

When I started out, I thought strong only meant masculine. I think that my time on the rigs has redefinined the relationships between masculinity, strength and what it means to be a strong, feminine woman. It means something different to everyone.

Now, for me, strength is in the fact that I can not only phsyically hold my own, but that I am not afraid of the men and the environment. Strength comes from knowing who I am and that I accept the fact that I am a woman in the industry and embrace it. Strength comes from knowing that I can choose to wear, dress, behave and speak how I please - whether that's rough or refined, the strength comes from knowing I have the power and gumption to make that choice.

Strength for you can mean any number of things, and I believe figuring that out is indeed strengthening in itself.


Number 8.

Enjoy the adventure!

Working as a female in a male dominated industry will always raise eyebrows and provoke questions.

Be ready for that. Decide whether this is something you want to *embrace* and talk about or whether it is something you would like to *ignore*.

Remember that no matter how much you ignore it, you still will be the odd one out. But that's not a terrible thing. If there are enough women that want to be the odd one out, soon the day will come when that is no longer the case.

Either way, I think it says a lot that we now have the CHOICE to to participate in this previously closed environment.

Be proud of who you are, and never apologise for it.

***

So what do you think?

We had some strange visitors on the rig...

 


I don't think they had the correct PPE on though...
Good times ;)

 

Exciting News – Being Published!

  Hi all! Just wanting to share some exciting news with you all.  I have the amazing fortune to be a contributor in the Griffith Review’s awesome 40th Edition of Women and Power!  It will be available in late April.

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The blurb for the edition is as such:

The empowerment of women it is one of the most remarkable revolutions of the past century. But like all good revolutions it is still not settled.

In a generation women have taken control of their economic fate, risen to the most powerful political positions in the land and climbed to the top of the corporate ladder. Just when it seemed there was general acceptance of this change, a misogynist backlash persists.

The impact of this revolution extends across the whole society – from homes to schools, politics to the military, marriage to media – challenging long held verities.

In Women & Power, Griffith REVIEW will bring an international perspective to these dilemmas, exploring the changing relationship between women and power in public and private spheres, here and abroad.

Have social changes caught up with economic changes? Are children paying a price for the rise of the two-income household? Can women have it all? Does it matter whether Julia Gillard's fruit bowl is empty or full?

Women & Power will bring provocative and insightful perspectives on these questions. The empowerment of women was one of the great changes of the past 50 years, handling its consequences remains a pressing challenge.

***

The piece is a short memoir about my life so far on the rigs… it comes out in late April! I will also be at the Sydney Writers Festival speaking on this, so quite excited indeed at the opportunities, Alhamdulilah!

The Griffith Review, edited by my amazing friend and mentor Julianne Shultz…

celebrates good writing and promotes public debate. It steps back from the issues of the day and gives writers the space to grow on the page.

Essays reflect on the underlying significance of events and trends, explain the details that get lost in the news and examine the unintended consequences of public policy.

I am really excited about contributing to this wonderful edition, so stay tuned – and maybe even get the edition!

Links, Links, Links! 19th February 2013

On whitewashing in Hollywood…

In other words, only white people can stand in for the human race as whole.

No act of sexism is too small to ignore: a good piece about changing cultures.  The interesting link here can be made with changing of any cultures; as the author says, there is no point in half draining the toxic swamp.

Do jerks deserve free speech?

An arresting article on South Korean women who have had plastic surgery.  Apparently, they see it just like putting on makeup…what an interesting cultural difference.

An amazing piece by an young Asian-American lady, who found her niche when she always thought she was an outlier… beautiful personal essay: Outsider / Insider.  Also from Rookie Mag, a beautiful piece about losing your original culture when you are brought up in a different country.

Stop and realise…these are our good old days.  We are living them now! How exciting is that?

The difference between being alone, and lonely.

A reflective piece on being an expatriate and what it is like when you come home. Leaving Australia for good.

From a more technical point of view, how will this non conventional gas boom affect US economics and politics and the rest of the world?

Enjoy your week!

Links, Links, Links - 20th January 2012

  It’s that time of the week! Here are a bunch of interesting links to things on this internet this week…

Let's start with a surprisingly frank talk by a supermodel on the power of image...

 

 

TO CALL Aaron Swartz gifted would be to miss the point. As far as the internet was concerned, he was the gift.  The Economist remembers Aaron Swartz.

Obama’s move on gun control – will this be the time “real” change is made in this area?  (I still believe that the argument for focusing on gun control is slightly misguided as surely mass shootings are an indication of a greater ill in the society?)

What is happening in Mali? French troops deployed…

Another question on the internet and privacy generally posed by this article: Is your data really your data?

So why have the Boeing Dreamliners been grounded?  It's all in those lithium batteries...

An interesting article on “10 simple body language tips for the workplace”.  I find these sorts of articles interesting.  Do they always work? Perhaps not, but it’s food for thought.

The Washington Academy of Science is doing something really cool – giving science seals of approval to mystery books!  Now you can know whether the book you are reading is scientifically accurate…

Is the “peak oil” concept a irrelevant or is it a case of oil execs trying to keep the share price up?

Great article by a mate on the deeper reasons behind why there is such an outcry this time over the Indian woman’s rape.

Well, we’ve known this for a while but now Cambridge has dug up proof: There is more to intelligence than just your IQ!

A great article about a man who delved into the underbelly of the internet; Chasing the Cicada: Exploring the Darkest Corridors of the Internet.  Follow the thought process of someone who undertook the process: Clevecode

I caved and joined Reddit (there goes all the productivity in my life…).  Found an intriguing comment string by people who have gotten shot…Worth a random peruse.

It was my worst moment, recorded for posterity's sake. What does it feel like? It felt like a cut. A deep, white cut. It felt like all my memories and my personality and what I was or would be were draining out of a hole I couldn't plug.

Also, don’t forget what was published on this blog recently, including a review of Adam Parr’s “The Art of War”, and the question of whether pay imbalance is because women take the lower paying jobs.